Mothers

Honor thy father and thy mother

Who is my mother? She is the woman that gave birth to me, but that in itself would not be so noble an act, since it is common to all  women who reproduce. My mother was a sinner, frail and hurt by her own mom. She was born to a mother that had a very limited capacity to love. She was abused, and still sought the approval of the abuser, still desired her to behave as a mom. My mom did not receive unconditional love, the way we esteem the love we say that only a mother could have. She lived in the shadow of a very violent storm of a woman, proud, arrogant and cruel. It is a volatile place, a place of no rest and never knowing what will set off the next storm, you shrink. 

I was born to a mother, who was not perfect, and who had no example in her own mother. She was abused, but never abused me. She was neglected, but always there for us. She forgave her own mother and as she learned the truths of God, she shared them with her children. It took me some time to forgive my grandmother, and she had already been laid to rest, but I took a path towards self destruction and arrogance for many years after. I am most grateful to my mother for giving me a Bible, telling me about God, and though I left angry, always letting me return. It was in God's word that I found myself with no one to blame and in those pages I found myself  guilty of the evil I disdained in others. Its mother's day, and to all you single moms out there, God bless you, its not easy but it is a high calling. Thanks Mom

Calvin